Jane was one of the millions of women who are miserable at work. She’s an intelligent woman who’d been successful in her corporate career. She’d made steady advances in the workplace, and was well paid, with lots of benefits and plenty of vacation time.
So why was she miserable?
She’d identified so much with the labels of wife, mom, manager that she had absolutely no idea who she was without the labels.
“What do you want for yourself, Jane?”
Blank stare. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
Her husband was doing his thing, the kids were gone — and no one wanted to hang out with a clingy, dependent woman who spent her time shopping for spiritual fulfillment after working all week at a job she didn’t want to do.
She was getting scared. Her health was beginning to go downhill. She wasn’t sleeping much. She had become a wee bit cranky.
Things were somehow supposed to be all better by now. Instead, they were getting worse.
Jane was feeling too old and worn out to deal with much of anything. It was all just too danged much.
Like the rest of us, she needed some help navigating the rough waters of what and who she didn’t want to be anymore.
Clarity, Confidence, and an Action Plan
As we worked together, she began opening herself up to new ideas, fresh experiences, and interesting people who were actually living the dream … not just wistfully thinking about it.
She wanted some of the good stuff, bless her heart. She gave herself permission to do some deep diving in our work together.
She wanted to feel as though she mattered, on her own terms. Jane needed to feel excited about her life again.
Jane realized she wanted to stop feeling tired, discouraged, and depressed. To stop being such a cranky, stressed out, frustrated, angry woman who was drinking too much so she could keep pretending that everything was OK.
1. Jane got clarity.
- About what she’d been doing and how she actually felt about it,
- how she wanted to feel,
- why she needed to make some changes before it was too late.
2. Jane got creative.
- She started exploring new possibilities, based on her new-found clarity and commitment to changing things.
- Jane likes to be physically active. She started taking yoga classes, learning from a teacher who was for-real spiritual.
- She developed a new relationship with her own body, which helped spark a new interest in her sexuality and sensuality (which was pretty fun for both Jane and her husband).
- She got creative about taking on a leadership role within her company. She started acting like a successful woman, and then she began feeling like it.
3. Jane developed an action plan.
- She ended up redefining her career parameters, restructuring her job description so that she was doing a lot more of what lit her up, and a lot less of what made her crazy.
- She went on a dream vacation, and had an absolute blast!
- Her sleep dramatically improved (which made everything feel a whole lot better).
- Her relationship with her children, especially her daughter, dramatically improved.
She learned how to say No when she didn’t want to. And Yes when she did.
She wasn’t living scared anymore. Instead, she started living from happiness.
It’s working out really well for Jane. Her new self-confidence, and trust in herself continues to affect her whole life. The tools, strategies and techniques she learned in the months we worked together will be useful the rest of her life.
Because I’m trained as a clinical psychologist, I’m not afraid of the deep, dark stuff. I know how to help you if too much stress, anxiety and/or depression are getting in the way.
Why the frog? It’s a fun way to tackle the yuckiest things in your action plan, from the book Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time.