Your life feels hard, and it’s all getting to be too much. Feelings of unhappiness and low self-worth won’t leave you alone, no matter how busy your life is.
Secretly, you’re ashamed of yourself, and scared that people will find out you’re faking it. Even though you get positive feedback from colleagues, clients, and friends, you don’t believe them.
Making decisions and sticking to them is almost impossible because you’re constantly second-guessing yourself. So full of self-doubt, and too confused to trust your dreams and ideas, you don’t know who you are anymore.
Stuck and frozen in place, you’re feeling empty and exhausted. Desperate to change things, you don’t know how to get out of your own way.
Incompetent, Inadequate, and Scared to Make a Mistake
Low self-esteem can be a silent self-sabotage because it often begins in childhood. The truth is that, underneath all the outward success, you don’t believe you’re worthy of love and belonging.
You’re the only one who can’t see that you’re already good enough. You’ve always been good enough. But because you don’t know that, you’ve given up on your dreams. It feels safer that way.
I suffered from low self-esteem for a very long time. The truth is that, even though I worked with two excellent therapists back in the day, neither one of them ever told me I was struggling with low self-esteem.
It would’ve made such a difference for me to have known that. I could’ve processed, healed, and developed strong strategies to counteract the old feelings of worthlessness and fear of being too visible.
I still have to watch my own learned helplessness and fear-based thinking that tell me to stay as small as possible so that I’m not a target for the haters. But now I know what to do.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
You can look like you’re doing everything right, enjoying solid career success, and living a life that your friends and colleagues wish they had. But inside your head and heart, it’s a different story. The signs and symptoms of low self-esteem can be especially tricky.
- You’ve got a near-constant Inner Critic telling you you’re done it wrong, or that you could’ve/should’ve done it better or differently, or that you’re a loser or a POS. The list of negative self-talk messages is endless.
- iI’s almost impossible for you to accept a compliment, to say thank you without deflecting the positive energy away from your not-worthy self.
- Hearing well-meaning and helpful criticism is a cataclysmic disaster.
- Black belt in people-pleasing, anyone?
- Comparison-itis is your bestie, leaving you comparing yourself constantly to others and *always* falling short (which your Inner Critic and Perfectionist love, btw).
- It’s your fault when something goes wrong, no matter who’s responsible.
- Everything is personal; there’s no such thing as a healthy boundary or setting limits, or “not my circus, not my monkeys” thinking.
- You feel inadequate, not good enough, not up to the task, no matter what anyone else says.
If you recognize even a couple of these things, your low self-esteem may be sabotaging your life.
Overcoming Self-Doubt 
In trying to avoid dealing with your deep feelings of shame and not being good enough, you thought if you were perfect, you’d be protected.
But if things keep going this way, you won’t be able to deepen into a real, intimate relationship with anyone. Or expand into the fulfilling career waiting for you on the other side of the fear.
It took me a very long time to learn how to strengthen my own low self-esteem, which has helped me help hundreds of women stand tall and proud and go after exactly what and who they want.
I know you’re not here to play small and scared. That’s never served anyone. And that’s not how you get the keys to the kingdom of manifesting your dreams and living into your desires.
The Santa Fe Therapist Approach to Low Self-Esteem
I’m Melanie, and I love working with smart, strong women struggling with low self-esteem and self-doubt. Some of the smartest, strongest women I’ve ever known have been terrified of who they are when no one’s looking at them.
When you learn how to recognize your Inner Critic, the harsh Perfectionist, and can challenge your inner Imposter Syndrome, your life can transform into what you know you’re capable of doing.
Powerful things begin happening when you understand how to overcome fears and insecurities, and start focusing on strengths, talents, and inner resources.
You’ll start believing in yourself, and learn how to stand up for yourself. And can I just tell you? That’s a total life-game changer.
We’ll figure out what’s going on, and what you need to begin developing solid, healthy self-esteem. One of the most powerful ways to do that is to understand how your emotions, thoughts and behaviors are intertwined.
When you learn how to make friends with your feelings, manage your thoughts, and explore new behaviors in a safe setting, your life will begin changing for the better.
Balance the Science of Therapy with the Art of Healing
In balancing the science of therapy with the art of healing, I’ll create an innovative program for you that sets you on a path of success from the very first session.
My compassionate, creative approach weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and my own work to heal suffocating, self-sabotaging low self-esteem.
One of my specialities is giving women the tools to cope with intense emotions. I use the latest neuroscience findings, and combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, gentle Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you fall in love with your life.
Clients usually work with me once a week 8 to 12 months. As we work together, you’ll be getting tools for long-term success, and learning and using strategies and techniques that will serve you for many years.
You’ll work hard for sure. But it won’t all be horrible and terrible! I love sharing ideas about good books and films, and laughing together once in a while.
My hope for you is that you’ll feel safe every step of the way.
Please know that I welcome ongoing conversations about making therapy the best experience it can be for you.
The Santa Fe Therapist Offers Online Counseling in Santa Fe, NM
Online therapy helps women who are struggling with low self-esteem and self-doubt find the time away from day-to-day pressures to calm their nervous systems. It also makes it easy and convenient to process emotions and learn new neuroscience techniques cope with challenges, heal the past, and begin building your future.
I strongly believe in the power of online counseling. Along with the research that proves its effectiveness, I see the positive benefits for clients every week. Click here if you’ve got questions about online therapy.
Help For Low Self-Esteem in Santa Fe NM
If you’re ready to move beyond low self-esteem, conquer self-doubt, and begin reaching your full potential, please don’t wait any longer. All you have to do is send me an email: melanie@melanieharth.com.
We’ll schedule a free 15-minute phone consult. Let yourself feel into the possibilities waiting for you on the other side of the fear; it’s a pretty wonderful thing to give yourself.
Go ahead, send me an email, and let’s talk: melanie@melanieharth.com.
Other Services From The Santa Fe Therapist
The Santa Fe Therapist specializes in several areas of health, wellbeing, healing and recovery. We know that one size never fits all. Our services are individualized to each client, and are based on your values, your needs and desires, and your goals.
We offer individual adult counseling and guidance in Santa Fe NM for:
- dealing with overwhelming angst and despair
- anxiety help
- depression help
- emotional and spiritual healing
- processing grief
- overcoming low self-esteem
- learning how to make peace with the present
- PTSD and CPTSD/trauma
- helping you manage stress